Wednesday, April 15, 2009

"I am stupid"

Lately when my youngest son gets in trouble for making a poor choice he will say "I am stupid!" It just breaks my heart to hear him say this about himself. I reassure him he is not stupid, in fact he is actually very smart, but that he just made a bad choice. We always talk about what we could have done differently. I think this is a result of the guilt he feels over not being able to control his impulsivity and he has reasoned that if he can't control himself, he must just be stupid. I am not sure where this has come from, but I don't much care for it and I am trying to figure out how to help change his negative self talk.

I guess it is time to bump a few of the books up on my reading list... "The Gift of ADHD" and "Superparenting for ADD" Both of these books approach it from the positive side and talk about focusing on their strengths. Hopefully I can find some pratical things that we can do to help him see his ADHD as a gift instead of a problem.

3 comments:

melodie said...

Oh, I hate to hear that your little guy has such negative talk. Hopefully you can get t the bottom of that...

tiffrutherf said...

Poor guy, I heard this often in my classroom when I taught 5th grade. First one kid said it and it spread like wildfire. Try finding out if he's hearing it in class or from another social groups he's in. Remember has much as it hurts you hear; find out if its just a "saying" for him or if he's really feeling this way himself. You do this by asking him "What does that mean you feel stupid? I've never heard that from you until recent" and let him explain.. and go from there..hope this helps..

sara said...

I love tiffrutherf's advice - is he saying it because he has heard it somewhere else or because he truly feels that way about himself? It is still heartbreaking no matter what!